Why Does Sex Hurt?

There are lots of reasons why sex might hurt, but if you're healthy and happy and sexually aroused it shouldn't hurt. So if it does, it's time to do something about it. After all, sex is meant to be enjoyable!

Our mission at ComeClose is to help you discover, or re-discover, the joy of (pain-free) sex. So if you are experiencing unwanted painful sex, please read on. Or if you're done reading about it, be free of it today. And if you're still not sure, at least go and see your doctor to check if there's a medical reason why sex hurts.

ComeClose Pleasure Ring with vibe option

What is the pain?

If pain is felt deep inside the body during penetration, then you might be experiencing what's known as collision dyspareunia ("dis-pa-roon-ya”). It's a fancy term which simply means that the tip of the penis is hitting a sensitive area inside the receiver. This could be the cervix, the prostate gland, some endometriosis adhesions - in fact any sensitive internal tissue.

And, although collision dyspareunia is quite common, it's not normal, and it is avoidable. Sometimes the penis is just too big... it happens. Sometimes the receiver has a medical condition or unusual anatomy, or is not 100% sexually aroused.

Find out more — download our doctor-approved fact sheet to see what might be causing you or your partner pain, and find out how to break free of it. And please remember, this is a common complaint, so there's no need to feel embarrassed. The solution is in your hands.

What about anal sex or oral sex?

The ComeClose Pleasure Ring can help you both make sure that no more is delivered than can be happily received.


So let’s talk about pleasure

Sexual arousal is essential for great sex! Yes, essential. Sexual arousal isn't just a feeling, it's actual physical changes that happen to the receiver's body making it super-keen for penetration.

Take the vagina, for example. When the body is sexually aroused the vagina walls become lubricated, vaginal muscles relax, and the vagina lengthens, the cervix 'tents' (expands) and more blood flows into the genital area making everything feel more squishy, cushioned and moist, and a cascade of hormones and pleasure chemicals rushes through the brain. When the vagina is ready, really ready, sex feels great for both of you.

If full arousal doesn't happen (check our factsheet for the many reasons why not) then collision dyspareunia can happen. This could be anything from a mild bruising feeling to such an intense pain that it literally puts you off ever having sex again! Seriously.

If you have experienced the pain of collision dyspareunia, it can lead you to expect pain the next time and this will prevent sexual desire and sexual arousal (unless pain is your thing). This is called 'The cycle of pain' and the good news is that you can free yourself from this cycle and re-experience real pleasure, real fun, real intimacy (or even experience it for the first time).

Using the ComeClose Pleasure Ring, adding some lube (and taking your time) can give the body a bit of extra space to relax and re-learn the way to great sex. So, why wait? You found this website. Maybe it's time to break free, and head for the pleasure zone.